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Help me NOT raise $20,000 for Children’s Hospital

Help me NOT raise $20,000 for Children’s Hospital

I have never asked your help to reach a goal that I hoped not to make… until now that is. I don’t want to raise a dollar over $19,999. And trust me, assuming you have eyesight, neither do you.

A little background might be instructive. This is that email I send out once a year begging you to help me remember my late daughter Parker Caldara by donating to the Courage Classic. It’s an over-the-mountain-passes cycling event this weekend to raise needed funds for the people who bravely treated my little girl, the heroes at Children’s Hospital. Children’s is wildly important to me because it is the place that also saved the life of my son Chance Caldara.

Chance was born with Down Syndrome three years after the death of Parker. He had open heart surgery at three weeks old and over his 14 years of life has gone through 14 surgical procedures at Children’s.

So, like many families across the country, Children’s Hospital on the Anschutz Medical Campus is a place of great pain and great joy for me.

Years ago my friend and co-worker Tracy Smith wanted to help me celebrate Parker’s brief but powerful life and created “Team Parker” to race in the Courage Classic. And since then we have raised some $100,000 for Children’s. But in all this time Tracy wasn’t able to achieve one goal she set – to get me on a bicycle and ride the Courage Classic.

Why would anyone want to peddle up the side of a frickin’ mountain when you could just drive up is a mystery to me. And don’t give me that crap about a “runner’s high.” I know that’s a myth made up by healthy people as a practical joke to make us normal lard-asses think it’s real. They love watching us pathetically try to achieve it. Likely made up by the same evil people who thought up lies like snipe hunting and the female orgasm.

In any event, I told Tracy if we could raise some un-raiseable amount like $20,000, I would squeeze into those embarrassing spandex shorts and she could enjoy my coronary as I grab my chest while laying on my back on some bike path, panting for oxygen.

Her cool response – “you’re on bitch.”

To join her “Get Caldara to wear spandex and collapse in the mountains” effort, please support Team Parker here.

To meet Tracy, check out our episode about Team Parker from my show, Devil’s Advocate.

And to learn a bit more about my lovely Parker and my main-man Chance, go here.

And thank you for helping me keep the memory of my little girl alive and helping keep her little brother living by supporting the hospital on which so many of us depend. I love them both so much.

Think Freedom,

Jon